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Wednesday, 28 November 2007

 

DIVISION 

the paint is peeling<br>
on this world of ours<br>
i see the nicks<br>
and the battle scars<br>
stones were thrown<br>
with careless aim<br>
my pain is real<br>
when you have no shame<br>
i saw you draw<br>
a mighty sword<br>
like no other<br>
i had seen before<br>
you sliced the air<br>
with a fatal blow<br>
tell me where did all<br>
the bluebirds go<br>
i saw you draw<br>
lines in the sand<br>
that divided this<br>
united land<br>
then watched you turn<br>
your blinded eyes<br>
every time <br>
you realised<br>
that i saw you draw<br>
the corporate plan<br>
with ill regard<br>
for the working man<br>
now the rich get richer<br>
and toast in cheer<br>
while the middle class<br>
has disappeared<br>
i saw you draw<br>
a hopscotch square<br>
for the pretty children<br>
living there<br>
on sidewalks colored<br>
in pastel chalk<br>
children went inside<br>
but had no walls<br>
i saw you draw<br>
the curtain tight<br>
every time <br>
you saw the light<br>
or heard the words<br>
of my feeble voice<br>
i saw you turn<br>
with no remorse<br>
the paint is peeling<br>
on this world of ours<br>
until i see the nicks<br>
and the battle scars<br>
i don't see the vision<br>
as you saw it<br>
but i know its yours<br>
i saw you draw it<br>
<br>
<br>
*
<br>
<br>
(c)8/28/01   Gann Dalph


Posted by biggrassworld at 6:14 PM EST
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Saturday, 18 November 2006

Tonight

i went through my notebook and put it on this blog - i guess so that when i go insane someone will know why. and i get to quit carrying the notebook.

i'm going through hell and don't know what to do. since his confession i have become very frightened. it was obvious the next day that he regretted telling me the truth and that's when i became even more afraid.

if i tell the truth to the authorities i will be in even more danger. i will never be safe regardless of if i tell or not so i might as well tell.

but i will not testify on this one. someone will kill me for sure.

what in the hell am i supposed to do? since i cannot find the manual on proper protocol concerning what to do when an assassin confesses to you, i wait for answers to fall out of the sky.

i do not want him to kill anymore children, at the same time, i do not want him to kill mine either.

what in the hell am i supposed to do? if i tell his name, what then? i can't run any harder right now and i do not want my government to put me in some kind of witness protection program.

i just feel so totally fucked all the way around.


Posted by biggrassworld at 11:14 PM EST
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 11:35 PM EST
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Friday, 17 November 2006

Going Under

 

the water is murky

my way is unclear

something dangerous

is lurking here

the undertow

is in the still water

that i tread upon

but i won't come

undone

going under

is not an option

    ********

 

(C) 11/17/06 Gann Dalph


Posted by biggrassworld at 11:10 PM EST
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 11:14 PM EST
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Saturday, 4 November 2006

The Sound

 

sound stops

at the edge

of my mind

behind the curtain

where for certain

i know

you will find

all of the quiet

that is never

mine

      ******

 

(C) 11/04/06 Gann Dalph

 

 


Posted by biggrassworld at 11:05 PM EST
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 11:09 PM EST
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Sunday, 29 October 2006

I leave my town behind.

Posted by biggrassworld at 11:03 PM EST
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Saturday, 14 October 2006

No Next Of Kin

 

 

i'm not sure

if i'm strong enough

it would

be so much

easier

if i would just

ignore the truth

just pretend

like i didn't

hear a word

but when the

houses burn

how will i feel then?

how will i feel

when there's

no next of kin?

this time

i'm more frightened

than i've ever been

of the one

that knows me well

the one

that knows

where i live

i come undone

to know

this one

knows my son

how can i

come forward

with this truth

knowing what

i stand to lose?

do i sacrifice

it all

just to save

a total stranger's

life?

why can't people

tell me lies

like other

lovers

used to do?

why do

i have to

hear the truth?

i wish

the evil

were all made mute

so go on please

and give me lies

so i do not fear

you will

take my life

   *********

 

(C) 10/14/06 Gann Dalph


Posted by biggrassworld at 10:50 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 11:03 PM EST
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Friday, 13 October 2006

New-born Stranger

 

 

i sit in

my own town

like a new-born

stranger

saying goodbye

at a cafe table

words are said

i can't forget

do you recall

when you said

it all

i fall to my knees

when you can't

see me

and pray to a god

you don't believe in

and i ask him

for help

save me from

the self

of others

i might as well

be tumbleweed now

and never rest

in my quest

to be safe

within my soul

do people like you

even have

one of those?

when i was

born a stranger

i knew i had no

control

over what others do

but i was given

a soul

were you?

  ***********

 

(C) 10/13/06 Gann Dalph


Posted by biggrassworld at 10:40 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 10:49 PM EST
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Thursday, 12 October 2006

Priest

 

 

i am not a priest

a police officer

a lawyer

the DA

or the judge

i do not

know why

everyone has

such a strong

desire to confess

to me

i wish they wouldn't

for i do not

want to know

i am not a priest

but i am certainly

in dire need

of one

    *******

 

(C) 10/12/06 Gann Dalph

 

 

 

 


Posted by biggrassworld at 10:35 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 10:50 PM EST
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Wednesday, 11 October 2006

An assassin

confesses

 

 


Posted by biggrassworld at 10:31 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 10:34 PM EST
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Monday, 9 October 2006

Question #3

 

i was very young

once

saw things i could

not believe

so i told my mother

what i had

witnessed

and she called me a

liar and

a troublemaker

and sent me

to live with my dad

where i saw things

i could not believe

so i told my father

and the police

but no one

would do anything

but me

which made a

madman want to kill

me and my friends

so i tried to kill

myself

just to get it over

with

but i lived

and went to an

orphanage

where i would

be happier

and i was

then

at the age of majority

i moved back

to my

hometown

learning so far

in the process

that when i

tell the

truth

i get called names

extricated from my sisters

outcast

disbelieved

ignored

and hunted down

like prey

by a lunatic

wanting to kill me

at that point

i resolved

to furthermore

keep my mouth shut

but silly me

then i had a question

bad move

i asked

the police officer

what jail

was he taking

my passenger

to for

drunk in public

maybe

it was because

at that time

i didn't know

where any jails

were

it must not have

been very important

because

he told me

not to fucking

worry about it

and when

i asked again

he royally

beat my ass

i think 

he was just mad

because i passed

my field sobriety test

and wanted to

prove to me

that it was just

as easy

to tow a motorbike

as a car

just like he said

and

it was

and somehow

i got charged

with felony assault

and  then he lied

in court

until that moment

i did not know

that people

could do that

without being

struck dead

by lightning

once

again

i learned

that the truth

was useless

one day

i just left

hitchhiked south

with some hippie dude

that i now

regret

ever meeting

he began working

for drug dealers

made me

do the same

he was mean

and the beautiful

beautiful SWAT team

would have to

sweep my house

just so i could

come home

in peace

then one day

he took out

a big front

from his dealer

and left me

his dealer

came after me

his dealer owned me

so i did

whatever he wanted

while i figured out

how to get away

from him

and his wife

at this point

i knew the truth

was a lie

i thought

i'd sneak off

and get lost

at disneyland

but that didn't work

after the fallout

i learned

more of the

brutal truth

the truth of

why

everyone lies

now

when

i stand

before you

and speak

so honestly

i still

understand

your doubts

maybe

you think

that cop

told the truth

he did not

but he was

at least

kind enough

to apologize

after my trial

he said

he was sorry

for beating my ass

and

that

he was

out of line that night

so i asked him

why

he didn't say that

in court

question #2

in my search for

simple answers

honestly

i understand your

doubt

maybe you think

i'm violent

like the others

or maybe

you think

i just

have a problem

with authority

or maybe even

hold a grudge

if you believe

my truths

ironically

i feel none

of those emotions

i just believe

i've met more

than my fair share

of lying

violent people

in the course

of trying

to live

a peaceful

truthful life

i cannot

change the fact

that i've been

the witness

to things

i've never wanted

to see

i can't  change

the fact

that i cannot

idly

stand by

and keep my

mouth shut while

others

are being hurt

and i can't

change

the fact

that i won't change

my core beliefs

just to make

my life easier

i will not

keep my mouth shut

about abuse

or rape

or murder

i have to

tell the truth

which leads

to question #3

would you

tell the truth

like me

outcast

disbelieved

and hunted down

like prey

do you dare

tell the truth

today?

    ********

 

(C) 10/09/06 Gann Dalph


Posted by biggrassworld at 9:42 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 18 November 2006 10:30 PM EST
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